Sunday, January 19, 2014

Letter From a Mother to a Daughter

The letter below is something I saw floating around on Facebook.  Not sure if it is real or not, but wanted to share....

LETTER FROM A MOTHER TO A DAUGHTER:

"My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through.

If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”... Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep.

When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl?

When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way... remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day... the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through.

If I occasionally lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you.

And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked.

When those days come, don’t feel sad... just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love.

I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you... my darling daughter."

- Unknown,




This letter particularly hit home because I have been looking at Delilah a lot recently and seeing how much she has grown.  I'm no longer seeing her as a little baby, but rather, a little girl.  And someday I will see her as a little lady, then a young woman, than who knows what.  In a weird way, it has faced me with my own mortality.  Every time I look at her, I become strongly aware that I used to be that age.  I might not remember it, but I was.  And I think of what my family must be experiencing to see me as I am now.  Once upon a time, I couldn't even wipe my own ass.  And now, I am a full time working, single mom, living in New York City, raising my own little girl.  It must be surreal for my family.  I can only relate in that it is already surreal for me when my daughter picks out her own clothes.  Just a year ago she couldn't even walk and she needed me to do EVERYTHING for her.

As her autonomy grows, my love for her does as well.  Not because I want her to leave the nest so soon.  But the bond that is created between a parent and a child when the parent is helping build the foundations of life skills for a tiny human being, and then to see that human being be successful, happy, and brilliant is something that really touches the heart at a level I didn't even think existed.  My daughter has taught me so much about what life is all about and I hope I can continue to teach her the same.  Most of all, I pray that as I become older and more frail that she will never forget that at one time she was a youth, and that she will not take her life for granted.  That she will live every moment to her very fullest.  And most of all, I hope my daughter never sees me as a burden on her life, because she has certainly never been one in mine.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Double take

This little girl, who is meeting her uncle for the first time is a trip!  Her uncle just so happens to be an identical twin of her father.  Lmao.  So good!


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/11/little-girl-dads-twin-video_n_4582183.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009

Monday, November 18, 2013

A single mom's love life- Chapter One

It can be hard being a single mom sometimes.  The challenges you face emotionally and financially can be really tough and sometimes disheartening.  I am so so SO lucky to have a very involved father for Delilah's life, which definitely makes things a lot easier, but there are challenges nonetheless.

One of the "troubles" is the daunting love life.  I am in no rush right now to settle down; getting married again strikes fear in my heart.  Not because my last experience was horrible or anything, but committing to another human being has me feeling vulnerable, which is not the best of feelings at the moment.  Being single and "dating" is terrifying, at least for now.  It feels so complicated!  First of all, how do I even meet people?  I work, I take care of my kid, and I try to run and exercise.  I don't really have room in my life to meet new folks.  Which is fine for now; I'm doing a lot of self-work which is very much needed.  Second, I can't even afford to be going out and about like that.  Being single in NYC is just a life of being super extra broke.  Since I'm already broke, I don't really have any room to move further down on the financial scale.

But those aren't even my main concerns.  I always worry about bringing someone new into Delilah's life.  How will she react to them?  Will they like her?  If they don't, they're getting a big ol' kick out the door!  What if that person wants children?  Do I even want another child?  How will having a half sibling affect Delilah?  How do I make time for both of them?  What if my partner wants to move out of New York?  I'M NOT LEAVING MY DAUGHTER BEHIND!!!!!

Yeah, it's a little coo coo crazy feeling sometimes, but that's what runs through my head.  Obviously, my life could be a lot worse.  I continuously feel blessed every time I look at my daughter.  She is so smart, so loving, so kind, and so frikkin hilarious I can't even handle it.  I can't even say she is like her father or myself, because she is just her own animal.  Watching her grow up has been incredibly life changing.  The type of change that if it means I have to be "alone" forever to continue to watch the change and growth in my daughter continue, then so be it.  That doesn't make it any easier for sure, but it definitely makes being single worth it.