But one of the ones that stands out the most to me now was a question of "Does having a baby split couples up, or make relationships worse?" I had originally asked that because I saw so many people in my life with children separate from their significant other for one reason or another. Which brings me to my topic for this entry. It is no surprise that the last entry in this blog was in January because that is when some issues Michael and I had started coming to a head. No need for details; it was relatively amicable. But it has brought me a lot of great sadness this year. Is there no hope for love? Is there no hope in keeping a family together in this day in age?
Luckily, I am not in the same spot I was 9 months ago. Michael and I have actually developed a wonderful friendship. I always tell him that I will never regret having a child with him because he is a wonderful human being and I'm glad that God has forced him to be involved in my life until the end of time, whether he likes it or not lol. I think it weirds people out how good of friends we actually are, which I totally understand. But it almost feels like this is how things were supposed to be, at least for now.
As for Delilah, she is doing amazing. Because, if anything, Michael and I have made sure to become an even stronger parenting unit. We are constantly communicating about the new things Delilah is doing, her struggles, her successes, what she ate, how many times she pooped, whether or not she punched us in the face that day. Every little detail. It has certainly had it's challenges. I hate saying goodbye to my daughter, with a passion. I hope none of you parents out there reading this have to experience it. I know I will see her again, but it just really sucks to fall asleep in my apartment, all alone. It's too quiet. I miss her laugh, the sounds of her tossing and turning in her crib, and I just miss her overall presence. She really does give me purpose in life. I know Michael feels the same way, so we've been really great at being there for her as much as possible which also means being supportive of each other.
There will be future blog entries about the struggles and successes of being a single mom. It's been an interesting journey so far. I don't know how single parents without an active co-parent do it. You all get my most greatest respect. But for now, I just wanted to let friends and family know that Michael and I are ok. And more than that, our beautiful warrior princess daughter is MORE than ok. She's fucking fantastic. But please keep us in your prayers that we may continue the strong family dynamic we have worked so hard for and will continue to fight for.
~Lexy~
