Maternity clothes are overrated

One of the first things I did when I found out I was pregnant was to start checking the maternity racks at various department stores.  The hubby went with me to help me try on some clothes but it was pretty much a failure.  I picked up some maternity jeans and that's about it.  I was still too small (about 8 weeks) to really fit anything these stores were offering.  

I haven't really been back to any maternity stores until a couple of weeks ago.  Mostly because my regular clothes are still fitting me.  My pants have gotten a bit snug, but I usually just wear the maternity pants, which are kinda baggy on me still, or use a rubber band to keep my regular jeans fastened.  Nice lil trick I learned from the sister in laws.  Take one end of the band to put around the button, take the other end and slip it through the button hole, and then bring it back to wrap the other end around the button too.  It's definitely been helping my jeans last a while.

I thought it might be nice to go back to the maternity sections to get a cute outfit for my baby shower, but the whole experience was just blah.  First, there aren't as many maternity sections out there as you would think.  But the clothing options are also pretty atrocious.  Many women are already feeling very self conscious about their looks during pregnancy, and the clothing options for pregnant women doesn't really help any.  Here are a couple of culprits below:

1.  Tacky prints.  I have seen way too many shirts that have the most gaudy prints on them, like pregnant women get knocked up and then go on a cheesy hawaiian vacation.  As if the growing tummies don't get enough attention, we need clothes to just scream LOOK AT ME!!!!!   

2.  Loose clothing and ruffles.  I am a firm believer that just because you are pregnant does not mean you have to dress in garbage bag clothing.  Sometimes the most comfortable clothing is stuff that fits snuggly to your growing tummy, almost like its protecting/shielding you.  Although I definitely opt for loose clothing for the sake of comfort, sometimes it makes me uncomfortable because it makes me look three times bigger than I actually am.  And don't get my started on the ruffles.  I think that just might be a personal preference though.  I just can't stand the placement of them or how much ruffling they put on a shirt.  It makes pregger ladies look like oversized ostriches. 

3.  Stripes.  Now, it is general common sense in the non-preggo "fashion world" that stripes can make you look wider/bigger than you are.  So it's interesting to see the large amount of striped shirts that are made for pregnant ladies.  They can sometimes be pretty cute but sometimes they also make you look like a human sized bumble bee.  

4.  Prices.  I personally think that one of the best shirts for pregnant women are empire waisted.  They grow with your belly, are pretty comfy, and come in lots of fun/cute patterns.  But one of the downfalls of maternity clothing is its price.  This shirt below is pretty cute, but also costs 94 dollars.  Like it isn't enough that your budget is suddenly gonna double due to all the baby expenses, maternity stores want to rip off vulnerable mommy-to-bes by making them spend a ridiculous amount of money on clothes that they will only wear for like 3 or 4 months.  No gracias!!!!

So after making the rounds to Old Navy, Motherhood, JCPenney, Macys, and who knows where else, I found a nice top at KMart.  And not in the maternity section either.  See below.

It's a cute lil tunic, stretchy, dress made by Sofia Vergara (the hot latin lady on Modern Family).  Turned out to be the cutest, most comfortable thing I tried on.  A lot of her clothes were pretty comfy because she makes clothes for the more voluptuous/curvy women.  But it was also comfy mainly because it was a tunic, so the long length will be useful as I get bigger, especially thanks to the stretchy material.  The floral pattern wasn't too gaudy.  It's colorful but still dark enough to help me "look smaller," if I were to care about that.  And its nice to either wear casually or to go out.  It was super cheap too!  What was key is that I feel like this is an piece of clothing that I can STILL wear when I lose my pregnancy weight.  And I think preggo women, especially those with a tight budget, really need to consider that when purchasing clothes.  Don't be too hasty in buying clothes because you might fit into a lot of your clothing you already have in your closet.  No need to get new clothes until you actually need them!  

The most important thing to remember is that when you are pregnant, you are beautiful.  No one is gonna think you're gross, and even if they did, they certainly wouldn't mention it to you.  If they do, punch up in their baby makin parts.  Getting bigger, especially when it is out of your control, can be really rough.  And sometimes going clothes shopping just makes you feel worse about it.  The important thing to keep in mind is it is not permanent.  With healthy eating and some exercise you will lose that weight again.  Also, you tend to lose a lot of weight when you breastfeed.  So in this time of growth, remember that your belly is beautiful, clothes are dumb and superficial, and you have something so much wonderful to look forward to than crying in the middle of a department store because you feel like you look like a whale.    

Didn't see that coming

I think all people have a subliminal, innate sense that nothing bad or weird will happen to them.  Not because they're ignorant, but it's just part of our nature as human beings, and probably as Americans.  Yeah...that doesn't change during pregnancy either lol.  Even knowing all the possible side effects of being pregnant, I think there's always a part of you that thinks "Oh, that won't happen to me.  I won't gain 40 pounds.  I won't throw up.  I won't get stretch marks."  I totally had one of those "I didn't think this would happen to me" moments last week.

One of the many stereotypes of pregnant women is that they are really emotional.  To an extent that they can break down and cry or freak out over nothing.  This has always really bothered me because I feel like there is an expectation for women (pregnant and not pregnant alike) to overreact in general.  Yes, we MIGHT be more vocal about how we are feeling, but I think generally each person is pretty much just as emotional as the next, they just express it in different ways.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I went on an internal rampage to make sure that I didn't end up as THAT pregnant lady.  I don't let my hubby cater to me, I can do ish myself dang it!  I don't (often) indulge in eating more than I should.  I keep active because a healthy momma means a healthy baby.  And I make sure to keep my emotions in check, ESPECIALLY around my husband because he does not deserve poor treatment just because I'm pregnant.  But that is just my own personal philosophy.

Although I have had a few moments where I felt like I might have overreacted to something, I was pretty good about stopping any negative or depressing feelings in their tracks.  I have cried a bit more often, but that is usually when I am feeling incredibly sick, fatigued, or a combination of both.  So I don't count those times, haha.

Alas, last Thursday, my inner emotional preggo totally surfaced.  Not as crazy as I thought, but still mildly embarrassing for me.  I was visiting one of the schools that my company is affiliated with and quickly rushed to a doctor appointment afterwards.  I was particularly excited about this appointment because it was supposed to be with a midwife at a hospital in the Bronx (that's a whole other post).  Unfortunately, I was 30 minutes late to the appointment and they only allow for first time patients to be 15 minutes late before making them reschedule.

I definitely knew I was late but was not aware of the 15 minute policy.  I got to the front desk, out of breath but excited, and checked myself in.  Promptly, the woman checking people in said "I'm sorry honey, but we' gonna have to reschedule.  You are just way too late," and I just stared at her.  Mentally, I understood the policy.  Under any other circumstance I would have just sucked it up and rescheduled.  But in that moment my mind started to race and scream.

All I could think was "But I tried to get here as fast as I could.  I'm 26 weeks pregnant, I can only move so fast!  Can this chick cut me an effing break!?!?!  This whole working mother thing is totally over effing rated.  This is just too hard!"  Then she told me that the only time she could reschedule was for 1pm the following Wednesday, or 10:30 am the following Friday.  Now, two problems with this.  One, both of those times (and pretty much any other time she had to offer) are during my usual work hours.  I felt an extreme amount of guilt making another appointment during work hours because my job has been so incredibly accommodating as it is.  The other issue is, I'm a stubborn person even when I'm not pregnant.  When I want something, I want it N-O-W.  Not yesterday, not tomorrow, but right the fudge now.  So the fact that I had to wait another second to meet with this midwife tore me apart.  I started to lose it. But really, I was just tired.  I am realllllly tired of going to the doctor.  I do enjoy going because it means I get to see my little girl, and that just makes my day.  But it is sooooo hard to balance all of the appointments and still feel like an effective human being in my job, my relationship, and my life in general.  I can't even imagine what it's going to be like when she's actually here....

Luckily, I had some sanity left, and didn't totally lose my shit on the front lady person.  She was also nice enough to let me fill out the new patient paperwork so that when I did come in for my new scheduled appointment I could just go right in.  Right when she was handing me the paperwork, Michael arrived, and I just lost it.  I sat down and just cried and vented like a big ol' baby.  And I kept telling him "I don't even understand why I'm crying right now!  This isn't the first time I've had to reschedule a doctor's appointment.  I feel so ridiculous."  And being the good man he is, he assured me that I had every right to cry.  But as I looked around the waiting, at the oncoming stares and glares from the other pregnant women in the room, I knew I was being ridiculous.  Especially since once I started to cry, I really felt like I was never going to stop.

Granted, on a scale from 1-10, 1 being a completely non-emotional robot and 10 being going totally John McEnroe on everyone, this situation was only MAYBE a 3 for observers.  But for me, it felt like a 500; not being able to control my emotions, or even understand how they peaked in such a quick manner, was incredibly restricting to my sanity.  And it was especially "humbling" that it happened in front of a group of people.  I HAAAAATE crying in front of people.  It's the worst.  But it happened.  And I'll probably never see any of those people again, except for those lovely ladies at the front desk.  So the moment actually served as a was nice introduction to the real world of pregnancy.

Yes, every pregnancy is different.  Not every woman shows the same way, grows the same way, or has the same side effects, if they experience any at all.  But I think for any woman who hopes to have a baby, you really have to be willing to just surrender everything you are and everything you're used to...at least for 9 months.  Just let everything go, be free, stop giving a damn about other people, and just go with the flow.  Because shit is gonna get REAL, and there is nothing you can do about it.  

ONE WHOLE WEEK!!!!

I have officially gone a full 7 days without puking my brains out.  I feel like throwing a party, lol.  It truly has been a blessing to not have been so incredibly ill the last week.  I am still getting short bouts of nausea, but they are totally manageable.  I also still haven't gained back all the weight I lost in my first trimester.  But seeing how I am a bit of a sexy chunky monkey, that's totally ok.   
One thing that helped a bit was switching my prenatal viatmin.  Before, I was taking OB One Complete.  But the pill is so big, and tastes so freakin disgusting, that I would literally throw up the moment I took it.  Luckily, my bestie suggested I look for a gummy prenatal vitamin, which I didn't even think would exist. 
I went into Duane Reade and randomly came across this one...

What's awesome about it is that its sweet, so it's easy to swallow.  VERY easy to chew.  Plus, it has DHA and folic acid, which can be really hard to find in a gummy and are crucial during pregnancy.  The only downfall so far is that it has absolutely no iron, which is also crucial during pregnancy.  But, I get iron in other ways like through my veggies, certain meats, cereals, etc.  So I don't think it's gonna be an issue.  I think its a blessing in disguise anyway because the high levels of iron in the pill are a big cause of what causes constipation during pregnancy.  Since I've stopped taking my other vitamin I've been poopin' like a champ.  How do you like that image!?!?! :-)

The only other small problem is that I'm not a big sour fan.  If you like sour patch kids, then this is totally fine.  I would rather take this than any horse pill any day. 

I think the best part of not being sick is I am FINALLY starting to be excited and happy about being pregnant.  I am also getting super pumped for my little girl to join me in the real world.  I was really starting to get worried there for a bit.  I feel like there are a lot of expecations put on women when it comes to motherhood and pregnancy.  Like first of all, that all of us should want to have children, which is just not the case.  For pregnant women, I feel like there is the expectation of utter and complete 24/7 joy and happiness, which is totally bogus.    Even if you are getting the gift of a child, why in the world would you be happy about throwing up, constipation, aches, pains, lack of sleep, etc.  It's like, you can be happy about beating the cancer, but doesn't mean you have to enjoy the chemo process.

Unfortunately, those expectations can really mess with your brain.  There were quite a few moments were I questioned my ability to be a good mother because I couldn't see pass the constant sickness and fatigue and just enjoy the fact that I was expecting a beautiful, healthy baby.  Even as I write this my guilt increases at the thought that I had any negative feelings during the pregnancy at all.  That's what makes being nausea free sooooooo amazing.  I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.  I am connecting with my baby girl so quickly now.  Everytime she kicks I feel like we're having a conversation.  Sometimes she's happy to be with me, sometimes she's grumpy, sometimes she just wants some damn attention.

I'm finally starting to feel what a lot of mothers have been telling me...pregnancy is a beautiful, magical thing.  And I really am hoping that my nausea continues to subside because I can definitely get used to this...  

New Years Resolutions

I'm a bit late on the New Year's resolutions, but I've been in thesis land for the last couple of weeks.  But here goes!

Last year I made a couple of resolutions, which included the following:

1.  Live on my own for the first time ever.  (COMPLETED)
2.  Practice random acts of kindness.  (COMPLETED)
3.  Lose 10 lbs.  (COMPLETED)
4.  Do one push up.  I've never done one, ever.  (NOT COMPLETED)

I kept it short and I accomplished most of them.  I'm pretty proud of myself.  This year I decided to make myself resolutions again.  So here's what I got so far!

1.  Be nicer to people.  Not that I'm purposely mean.  Just my facial expressions or lack of communication sometimes leaves people with the impression that I'm angry about something, usually at them.  So, need to work on that!

2.  Lose ten pounds (maybe 15, depending on how much I gain) through healthy eating and exercise after having the baby.

3.  Do at least one pull up.

4.  Do ten push ups in a row.

5.  Try not to lose my mind about being a first time mother.

6.  Try to embrace the "it takes a village" mentality when it comes to my child.

7.  Find creative and unique ways to interact with my child.

8.  Really try to stick with cloth diapering.

9.  Learn how to puree baby food.

10.  Write more poems.  Try to get one published.

11.  Graduate from grad school...finally.


Most of these resolutions are because I want to make sure I am the best role model I can be for my daughter.  One of my fears (like most expecting parents, I'm sure) is that I won't be able to be the type of parent that has a positive and effective influence on her life.   This of course means I have to be the best person I can be.  I believe that people are always continuously changing and morphing throughout their life, so I don't have a specific type of person I want to be.  I just want to make sure that I'm always striving to be the best I can be so my daughter can have the best parent she deserves.
I think beginning these resolutions are a good way to start thinking about the type of parent I want to be.  I think they will continue to expand and change as the year goes on, which I am totally fine with.  I've never been a parent before, so I have a feeling that I will start learning a lot about myself, and I'm really excited about that.  I am open to whatever the universe and my kick ass daughter have to teach me!