"Although 69% of mothers initially breastfeed, 21% of these stop within the first fortnight and another 36% within the next six weeks." http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/1984233.stm
Facts like this are written in many different breastfeeding articles; discussing how women essentially "give up" breastfeeding the early weeks after giving birth. Surprisingly, not many people talk about WHY. Between the lack of education about breastfeeding as well as the lack of support, its easy to see why some women decide to use formula. As someone who has gone through the trenches of breastfeeding for almost 7 months, I'd like to share a little bit of why it is "so easy" for women to make the switch.
Let's start with the first few moments after giving birth. A woman is exhausted and drained and has been through one of the most excruciating yet beautiful experiences of her life. Within moments, if she chooses from the beginning to breastfeed, the baby is placed on her to develop that initial connection. Sometimes babies don't latch from the get go which can be incredibly disheartening to a brand new mom. It can make someone feel rejected. This didn't happen with Delilah and I. She latched on right away. Which in my mind meant we were a GO for breastfeeding. If I only knew then what I know now!
Some people imagine that once you give birth, milk just starts shooting out whenever you need it. But the first couple of days you don't even get milk. You get something called colostrum; a gooey like substance that is really good for the baby but can be really hard to draw out. I remember my second day in the hospital, Delilah latched on and I cried. She had been latching on every half hour to try to get this colostrum and my lady nips were ridiculously sore. I started to bawling. I felt completely ridiculous. I just gave birth! How in the world is THIS making me cry? I had asked the nurses if I could meet with the lactation consultant to ask how to ease the pain. They informed me that she was in vacation (there was only one on staff!?!?!) and that I should just spread the colostrum on my nipple to ease the pain. Um....ok.
Later in the week, my milk finally came in. Again, I thought breastfeeding was going to be all up hill from there. Boy was I wrong. The next battle was Delilah's need to eat every 2 to 3 hours. And I DO means EVERY 2 to 3 hours. Day or night. So even though I had just gone through giving birth, my body didn't really get the rest it needed because I was the only one who could really get up to feed my daughter. It was exhausting. There were so many times I was completely unaware of my surroundings because I was delirious with the lack of sleep I was experiencing. This was just the first two weeks. It would have made the world of difference if we were formula feeding because then Michael could have done more of the feedings while I slept and allowed my body to get the rest it deserved. Not to say that you are well rested if you formula feed, because there is also the anxiety of a new parent that can come on but at least there is an option for more rest.
The other two factors that totally mess up the desire to breastfeed are engorgement and nipple leakage. Doesn't sound pleasant does it? With engorgement what happens is your boobs are constantly filling up with milk. Sometimes so much (and so fast) that they can become rock hard. You get total porn star boobs and can be in ridiculous amounts of pain like your boobs are going to explode any second if you don't nurse or pump the milk out. What a lot of women don't know is that usually after 6 weeks or a little bit more, your breasts start to produce less milk to meet the demands of your child. These first few weeks is just an oversupply that your body goes through as it figures out exactly how much milk to produce. The nipple leakage often goes along with the engorgement. When your boobs start to fill up too much, they start to randomly leak. Actually, what's even worse, is that sometimes even when a child starts to cry they can leak. There were many a times when Delilah (or even some random baby) would start bawling and my boobs would get the cue "It's time to feed! LET'S GET THESE JUICES GOING!" Again, that is something a lot of women don't know also doesn't last forever.
Now let's just say that within the first 6 weeks you get into the "swing of things" there are still so many factors that come into play that completely eff up the flow of breastfeeding that so many women are unaware about. My own journey has been a rough one. I had a huge drop in supply when Delilah started daycare because she started to rely on bottles more and rejected me as a result. Like I said, your breasts produce on supply and demand. So if she is not demanding from me, my body thinks I don't need the milk. Women always have the choice to pump, but pumping does not draw out nearly as much milk as a baby does. So again, your telling your body you don't need as much.
Between being introduced to bottles, teething, and having a double ear infection, there had been various issues for about 2 months that had Delilah constantly rejecting me. She would usually only nurse at night when she was half asleep. Although there were a couple of days she completely rejected me altogether which was incredibly disheartening. This made my job as a breastfeeding mom that much harder. I had to pump every 2 to 3 hours. Which technically sounds easy. But feeding my daughter only takes 10 minutes, where pumping takes 30-45 minutes. As a working mom, this made my life a living hell. Trying to be productive while having bottles and tubes tying you down to your desk can make for a challenging work environment. The same thing at home; I want nothing more to play with my daughter but I am tied down to my chair pumping away. I was also resorting to natural vitamins like taking 9 fenugreek pills a day, doing warm baths to "loosen the muscles," eating more oatmeal, drinking more water and Gatorade, and all the other home remedies to increase my supply.
The last thing that made breastfeeding and life challenging is attempting to have a social life. You have to pretty much negotiate your outings around your breastfeeding. There was one night that I was out to a bachelorette party and I had to tote along a book bag with me, excuse myself during the evenings festivities, and go into the bathroom to pump just to avoid wasting milk and preventing engorgement. Let me tell ya, hand pumping like a cow in a dive bar bathroom is not the most exciting experience one can go through.
On November 2nd, Delilah will be turning 7 months old and it isn't until the last few weeks that I feel like we are FINALLY getting the hang of breastfeeding. We have been home the last three days and I haven't needed to look at my pump machine once. It truly is a blessing. I am starting to feel that bond that so many women talk about. Many women have asked me why I didn't just give formula to Delilah during those hard times I just wanted to give up. I don't really have a good answer. It's just something deep down in my gut that I felt was right for my daughter. And I am willing to make any sacrifice that I need to make sure my daughter is getting the best of anything I can offer. It also just felt like the natural thing to do. Women have been producing breast milk for thousands of centuries, so there must be something right about it.
To me, breastfeeding is worth the fight. Although I completely understand why women choose to use formula, I constantly encourage women to give it their all when it comes to breastfeeding. It can be a hard struggle, but it truly is one that you come out stronger in the end. Women should educate themselves as much as possible. But I also believe in the power of community. Breastfeeding moms should share their experiences with other moms. Not in a way of telling others how to breastfeed, because each mother will have her own journey. Sharing our stories will help encourage other women that they CAN breastfeed and they can provide the most nutritious milk for their child. But we also need to be supportive in women who choose to formula feed their children because really, as long as a mother is trying to provide the best nutrition and love for her child, THAT is what really matters. All of us, whether you're a parent or not, should support and nurture that.
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